As my friend Paige Brown once said - as a single Christian woman with no marriage prospects who wanted very much to be married - it is not our marital status that defines us and makes us special it is our redemptive status. When the nuclear family is treated as the end-all-be-all in churches, it tempts single men and women to believe that they will never be complete until they find that “special someone” to spend their lives with.īut this is a lie. But like any created thing, it is a poor master and an even worse lord and savior. The nuclear family is a wonderful servant to God’s purposes. When we think and act as if the intact nuclear family is what “completes” our Christianity, then everyone, including intact nuclear families, will miss out on God’s ideal. Like any calling, the calling of parenthood should be celebrated - but with a much greater thoughtfulness and sensitivity than what is common in family-centered churches. When this happens, it can lead to unanticipated wounds and alienation for those whose family narratives may not be considered “traditional” in some circles.įor example, when churches make mothers the center of attention on Mother’s Day, many sit in observation, silent and sorrowful, as salt is added to the wound of an estranged mother/child relationship, or an infertility situation or some other pain. In the modern West, faith communities have been known to elevate the nuclear family as the apex of human existence. A Good Thing Made Into the Ultimate Thing Becomes a Broken Thing As the family goes, so goes a society.īut like any good thing, when family becomes the main thing, it can cause more harm than good. God established three structures to advance His Kingdom and support the flourishing of societies and persons: the Church, government and the nuclear family. In our shared union with Christ, we are also sisters and brothers to each other. The marriage between a man and a woman, in the purest sense, is a pointer to and picture of the love between Christ and the Church. “We are our Beloved’s, and our Beloved is ours,” says Solomon’s Song. Jesus is husband and we are His Bride, the Church. God is our Father and we are His children.
The Bible does have a lot to say about the significance of the family structure.įamily is the chief biblical metaphor to describe how God relates to us. What happens when we put too much emphasis on our idea of what family should look like? The Importance of ‘Family’ In an era of evangelicalism where there are church ministries built around the idea of “family,” marriage has become the focus of countless books and sermons and “family friendly” entertainment has become synonymous with “Christian” entertainment, is there a risk of distorting what the biblical intention of the family unit really is?
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